Dating How-To, Tips and Etiquette

Scheduling a Date

It is currently accepted, that when starting a new shidduch, the boy doesn't call the girl directly to schedule the date. Rather, the shadchan, or parents schedule the dates (obviously with the boy's and girl's consent) until the relationship progresses, which can be after the 3rd date or later.

It is recommended that a yeshiva guy schedule the first date during the weekend (thursday night, saturday night, even sunday night). This way, if the shidduch doesn't continue after the first time, you don't get knocked off track too much in yeshiva, since it doesn't cut into the middle of the week. Also, a possible 3rd date can be scheduled for the next weekend, thereby minimizing bitul torah while helping you keep on schedule in yeshiva.

Proper Etiquette

Be polite and courteous

Open and close the car door for her.
Always let her go first.
Hold the door open for her when entering/leaving a building (or room)
No matter where you go, buy her a drink.
Don't be rude to the waiter.
Don't take out your cellphone.
Let her sit in the more comfortable seat
Let her sit down first
Let her sit facing the restaurant (if applicable)

Dress appropriately

Wear only clean, unwrinkled clothes.
Smell good. Shower and put on cologne.
Shave well.
Wear your best. Look your best. Show her that you care.

Listen well

Don't interrupt her while talking, it's rude.
Pay close attention. The average conversation can help greatly in measuring her religious level.
Listen and watch for subtle hints of discomfort. Try to find a solution.
Don’t monopolize the conversation. Ask questions and listen at least as much as you talk.

Be easy going

Stay calm if things turn out bad. Show her that you can handle pressure.
Let her choose from a choice of Mikomos.
Be positive and upbeat.
Relax and enjoy yourself.
Display your sense of humor.

Be responsible

Let her know where you'll be going before the date.
If you go to a second place during the date, keep her updated on what's happening.

She cannot read your mind and she doesn't know if you're going somewhere else/where you're going/if you're even leaving. Just tell her.

Don't be late.
Come prepared with an activity/date (or a few ideas)
Return phone calls on a timely basis.

Be smart

Don’t talk about former relationships.
Skip "see ya later" at the end of the date, unless you're sure you will.
If your plan falls through (no seats available, no place for drinks, it's closed) then improvise.
If you leave the lounge because there are no drinks, go somewhere to buy drinks and stay there.

Do not go to Duane Reade (or any store) for drinks and then return to the original lounge/lobby. That's awkward.

(This section adapted in part from this blog)